Monday, June 9, 2014

Cheshire Cat

Dear Family- 

He didn't tell me until Friday night. AFTER I had seen the video.:) We came to the library (with Presidents permission) to find out more about it. I was able to see the video and read the email. I wrote about it in my letter and told Brig about it. I can honestly say that I have never been so happy in my life. It was amazing. I read the word Brazil in the email but it didn't really register until I saw the video. I watched it and just covered my mouth. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to start screaming and shouting at the top of my lungs. I literally wanted to jump up and down. And I wanted to cry. I couldn't email you back until today, but I really wanted to. We walked outside the library and started unlocking the bikes. I sat there just looking at the ...mission? I guess? From that spot I could see a bit of Glendale and LA. I just stood there looking. I thought about Brig getting the call I wanted (and not until then did it hit me) but as soon as the thought came I realized what I was looking at and just felt this overwhelming peace. I thought of me being here, Preston being on the other side of the world and Brig going to Brazil. It just felt good. Like yeah, this is exactly how its supposed to be. I didn't feel jealous at all. Just extremely happy for him. We unlocked the bikes and started riding away and I stopped. I wanted to go home so I could celebrate (scream & sing my head off, like I did after Claudia's baptism) but he didn't want to. So I told him I needed a minute. I stood there fighting tears and laughing. Then I couldn't take it, so I sat on the side walk and started crying and grinning like the Cheshire cat. It was quite the experience for me. I literally didn't know what to do with myself, I was so happy. I felt like I had so much energy that needed to be spent cheering, but also that I was exhausted from being overjoyed. It happens in the scriptures and I never really knew what it meant until now.
Basically I'm happy for him:)

Mom, don't feel bad for me at all. Please. Please please please. I don't need that. Just be happy for him. DO NOT WORRY!! He'll be fine! My friend Kat is literally from there. She's there right now visiting family. She says he has nothing to worry about.

Having Brazilian success and seeing that many people come to Christ is better than anything in the world. We're out here to save souls. Baptizing someone is the most amazing experience on Earth and having air conditioning isn't worth not having that. Am I happy that Brig is going there, more than anything. I know I'm supposed to be here, but I still don't know why. It still kills me at times. I still get mad and bitter, but I know I'm supposed to be here. 

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